somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize