If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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