You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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