dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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