Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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