Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
No subtext here. People are naked.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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