why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
