My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i think my mom watched the whole time
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
