Sry I called you an 8
You work out of a Hotel?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
