I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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