oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
