Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
