Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
