We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just pee around me
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
