and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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