Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
