i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
time to smoke my breakfast
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
