Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
