I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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