I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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