i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
