I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
