You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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