Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
