Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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