i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
