I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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