belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
