I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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