You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
