she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize