Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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