The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize