Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
