I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
