But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
