She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
