Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
