i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
