I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
