You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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