That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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