C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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