a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
