just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
