Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
