I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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