She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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