Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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