He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize