Can i not drive my cunt home
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize