I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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