my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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