I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
