Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
