So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
