It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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