Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
