Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
