the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
