I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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